Recovering Lost Memories
by Pure Hearted Tyrant
Summary: Instead of meeting Adam and getting his memories back, Peter goes to his apartment in New York. He's afraid, not just of the future, but also the past he's forgotten. What does the man in his dreams mean to him? Spoilers for season two, rating may go up
1. Chapter 1  Dreaming of You

**Recovering Lost Memories**

**Chapter 1 - Dreaming of You  
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"_I can't let you go, Pete. I love you. If you go down, I'm coming with you."_

Peter shot up in bed, gasping desperately for air. As he looked around the sparsely furnished room, he had to remind himself that he was alright, that he was in his apartment. His _apartment, not yours_. His brain chimed in, but Peter ignored it.

He swung his legs over the side of _his_ bed and padded over to the kitchen. Quickly, downing and refilling his glass of water, the brunette considered pouring it over himself as he was hot and already drenched in sweat from his dream. He decided against it however, as he didn't quite feel up to cleaning up the mess the water was sure to make all over the floor and everywhere else it splash onto. He knew that if he were to just leave the water to dry on the floor, it would surely damage the wood floors, something else that _he _was sure to dislike.

In the last two weeks Peter had had more adventure and lived than most people could even imagine. He had met a girl who he could easily see himself spending the rest of his days with. He discovered he had super powers. He even went to the future, where he had unfortunately left the girl of his dreams. The last two weeks, Peter truly lived. They were the only two weeks he had ever lived. Having woken up in a different country without any memory to speak of, then to do such crazy things, it was no wonder was having these bizarre dreams.

The dreams, they were something else entirely. At first he honestly had no idea if they were memories or just random, like normal dreams. There was the same man that he had a photo with in his wallet that appeared in almost all of them. It was evident from his frequency in Peter's dreams that he was important, in his life and to him as well. Every time he looked at the photo of them together, smiling as though nothing could touch them, there was a dull aching in his chest. Peter found himself staring into the eyes of the other man and himself, recognizing either with his mind, but both with his heart and soul. Who was this man whose eyes never ended? Who made Peter feel happy at just seeing his image, yet sad for not having him there, with him?

"Who _are_ you?" The stranger in the picture didn't reply. Peter blinked back tears, hating himself for getting weepy over something he had no control over. He was tired of being confused and worried and scared, always so damn scared. It wasn't just fear for the future, but fear of the past as well. He knew next to nothing about himself, other than his name and his powers (which he was still fairly clueless about) he was a stranger to himself. He ran a hand distractedly through his cropped hair and frowned.

"_Pete, you really need to cut your hair. You look like a teenager for god sake!" the man from the photograph told him, mock sternness coating his voice._

"_Oh, give it up Nathan; you love my hair in all its soft, long glory." Peter smiled at the familiar banter between them._

"_Shut up," Nathan grinned back and lovingly ran his fingers through the chocolate strands. Peter closed in eyes and leaned into the gentle touch, relishing in the attention Nathan usually was too busy to give him. Nathan obliged and continued to stroke the younger man's head. Peter opened his eyes and looked up at Nathan, their eyes locking immediately. Nathan opened in mouth to say something important when—._

Peter choked for breath the second time that night, interrupting the sudden memory. Occasionally random bits and pieces from the past, most of them containing the stranger in the photograph. _Nathan, _his brain corrected, _unless you called him the wrong name in that memory just now. _Judging from the feelings he always got when he remembered Nathan and their interactions, they were very close, closer than friends at least. Most of his recollections of them together were in his apartment or in an expensive house, mansion really, he assumed was Nathan's house.

Peter looked around his large apartment which must have also been expensive, judging by its size and location. The furniture, though tasteful, didn't match at all and he had the sneaking suspicion that he was not their first owner. Not for the first time, Peter wondered what on Earth he did for a living and why he would live here. He had returned to his apartment the day before, finding his address on his ID. It was familiar to him while at the same time being entirely alien. It was strange to walk into his home and not recognize anything; it felt as if it belonged to someone else. He felt like he was living in somebody else's house and he shouldn't be here. When he went to bed earlier that night, even while his muscles relaxed into the soft cushion of his bed like greeting an old friend, his brain was still confused by everything.

He downed the rest of the water and placed the glass on his counter. Even if he wasn't entirely comfortable in his bed, he should at least try to get back to sleep. He used a paper towel to dry the glass and reached up to put it back in the unorganized cabinet when he heard something move. Peter stiffened and listened closely, catching the sound of jangling keys, trying to unlock his door. Peter wasn't sure if he was ready to see any of his old friends, to explain what happened to him. Quickly as he could, Peter ran to the door, arriving just as it was flung open. The door passed just an inch from his eyes, stunning him and making him flinch out of the way.

The man who opened the door stared back at his with unguarded astonishment. An empty bottle of gin, Peter could tell from the smell of the drunken man, though how he knew the smell was a mystery, slipped from his hand and landed with a harsh thud on the floor, thankfully not shattering. Dark eyes met his own and there was something familiar in that gaze. He knew that face somewhere, but he couldn't be sure of what exactly this man looked like behind his scruffy facial hair. Before Peter had much time to react at all, he was enveloped in a warm and familiar embrace. Dispite having no idea who this man was, or even if he was dangerous, Peter found himself wrapping his arms around him.

"Damn it Pete-how did you-is this real-thank god!" the stranger mumbled into the hollow of Peter's neck, "god damn it, Pete, I love you"

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Yay, I finished my first chapter of my first fan fiction! I can't deny that I'm two parts excited and two parts terrified. Please review if you liked it! And if you didn't like it then review and tell me what specifically was bad about it. If you find any parts confusing please tell me. I'm so nervous about this I don't know what to do! Also, since I only made an account a few days ago (I've been on here for years without one) I don't have a beta. So anyone who is willing to offer their services or point me in the right direction they will be greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading, the next chapter should be up in a few days!

Also, the first line is supposed to be from when Peter is about to explode at the end of season one. I know the actual conversation is shown in season two, but I needed a bit more angsty lovey stuff, hence my embellishing. Any guesses on the stranger who appeared, though I think it's fairly obvious...

One more thing! If you didn't get it in the beginning, when Peter kept saying "_his _apartment" it was supposed to show that he thinks of himself as a different person now that he lost his memories. Sorry for any confusion!


	2. Chapter 2 Floods of Feelings

**Recovering Lost Memories**

**Chapter 2 - Floods of Feelings**

Peter blinked once, than twice as an overwhelming rush of emotion washed over him. He tried taking a deep breath to stabilize himself. Unfortunately this did little for his though pattern because with that deep inhale, Peter smelled him. Underneath the gin there was something familiar, a mix of Dove soap and a musky smell that he was sure only this person could give off. The combination set Peter's blood aflame and he felt a distinct stirring in his groin. This immediate attraction was nothing like what he had felt with Catlin and he realized maybe it was because she was a girl. Or maybe because it wasn't this man, this man he held like he was a lifeline yet at the same time like he was a porcelain doll.

"God damn it Pete, god damn it," He murmured over and over again into Peter's shoulder. He pulled his head off of his shoulder and gazed lovingly into Peter's eyes. For the first time Peter got a good look at the stranger and realized that this man was not, in fact, a stranger at all. Though bearded and looking rather worst-for-wear, this was the man that haunted Peter's, whether asleep or awake. His realization was confirmed a second later when Nathan spoke again.

"I missed you so much, Peter. I love you. I love you so, so much. I need you, so you can't do that again. Don't leave ever again, you aren't allowed to." His deep, gravelly voice coupled with his words sent shivers down the younger man's spine. A second later when reached over and put one of his strong hands on the side of Peter's neck and started stroking his cheek with a callused thumb it was all Peter could do to not melt right there, under that tender gaze.

"I won't, I promise," Peter said, his voice pitched lower than he meant to. Suddenly he was extremely aware of the proximity of their bodies; they were held flush against each other by Nathan's arm around his waist. Peter's arms, which had seemed to have developed a mind of their own, were wound around the back of Nathan's neck, effectively keeping him from pulling his head away more than a few inches short of a foot. Something about this incredibly intimate position felt so natural and familiar to Peter, just so right.

"Don't talk for a minute; just let me look at you." Nathan's deep eyes raked over every minute detail of Peter's face and neck. While Nathan was busy scanning Peter's face, Peter was doing the same and piece together their history and relationship. Trying to anyway, Nathan's intense gaze was distracting.

From their interaction so far, Peter could tell that they were much too close to just be friends. They could be friends with benefits, but Nathan said he loved Peter and besides Peter didn't feel like the type of person who would be in a relationship like that. No brothers stood as close as they were, what with their whole bodies pressed against each other, or look that deeply into the other's eyes. That left lovers.

Inside Nathan's intense scrutiny of the younger man's face, Peter could see a longing there. It was as if Nathan wanted nothing more than to use the hand that was stroking Peter's check and pull them together, kissing him fiercely. Something was stopping him though, something Peter couldn't, for the life of him, figure out. He should have felt frightened, to want this man, whom he had very few memories of, so much it made his bone hurt. He didn't though. He had a connection with Nathan so strong that a few repressed memories weren't going to make it go away. Impatient, Peter did what Nathan seemed unwilling to, even though it was what they both wanted, no _need _desperately.

The kiss was tentative at first, closed mouthed, nothing more than two lips pressed together. Though the action its self was a simple, almost innocent one, it held so much promise, so much emotion. Nathan, who had frozen as soon as Peter's lips touched his, seemed to melt against his touch and took over the kiss. He slid his tongue into Peter's hot cavern and flicked it against the roof, effectively making Peter shudder in delight. Nathan used his arm to pull their chests together and the other arm tightened around Peter's waist, pushing their groins dangerously close. Peter's own hands waved through Nathan's scraggly locks. He did it without even thinking about what he was doing, it just felt so right. He moaned into Nathan's open mouth as he did something exquisite with his tongue, practically melting Peter on the spot.

"Please…" he whimpered against Nathan, not even knowing, or caring really, what exactly he was asking for. All Peter knew was that he needed Nathan.

Unfortunately, Peter's pleas had the opposite of their intended effect and Nathan froze once again, just for a second this time. The next second he had ripped himself from Peter and was across the room, leaning against the sofa's arm for support. Peter, left feeling cold and very alone moved after him, desperate to know what he did wrong and what he could do to fix it. Before he reached Nathan, however, he had started muttering to himself.

"Damn it Pete," he said, his voice lower and huskier from their kiss, "I told you, you can't do this anymore. I thought you understood. I love you, but I can't be with you the way you want us to be together. You remember what happened when Dad found out about your feelings for me. If Ma found out, it would kill her. I mean we're brothers for god's sake, I can't just start kissing me out of nowhere."

Peter's muscles completely shut down on the spot, still over a yard from Nathan. Brothers. _Brothers. _Nathan was his brother. He and Nathan were well and truly brothers. Nathan, his brother, was lecturing him because Peter had kissed him. Kissed him good. Wanted to kiss him again and never _ever _stop. His brother how had kissed him back. Kissed him so perfectly back so that he got hard from just that one kiss. That wasn't the worst of it though. Not by far. There was something much _much _worst tan all that. Something Peter had realized during that perfect, intense kiss.

Peter was in love with his brother and it wasn't going to go away any time soon.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's <strong>**Note:**

It's done! I wrote most of this while I was sick (I was sick over a week T.T ) so I'm not sure if I even really like it. I couldn't remember what they call their dad also so if any one knows please tell me. Also, I don't think the Haitian's (Rene, you don't find out his name until the fourth season) powers would allow Peter to remember things on his own, but I'm planning on ignoring that little detail. Tell me how you like it!


	3. Chapter 3 Just Go To Sleep

**Recovering Lost Memories**

**Chapter 3 - Just Go to Sleep**

Peter looked at his brother with eyes he was sure were filled with lust. What the hell was he going to do? He had just kissed, very passionately his brain added helpfully, his brother. How was he going to explain this without sounding insane or a complete fool? Would Nathan even believe him about his amnesia? Even if he did believe him, that was no excuse for kissing Nathan.

"I'm sorry, I am. The reason I did that is... you see what happened was... well, I lost my memories and..." Peter trailed off. He had no idea how to continue without admitting that he had feelings for his brother, a discussion that was sure not to go over smoothly. "I'm sorry... really, I truly am..." he finished lamely.

"Peter, we'll talk about this later, I promise. Right now, I'm just going to be happy you're alive." As he said the Nathan pulled Peter back into a tight embrace. Despite his best efforts, Peter couldn't help but to cling helplessly to his brother. He felt safe there, in his brother's arms. Nathan was his protector and always would be; it was something Peter could feel in his bones.

"I love you Nathan," Peter mumbled into his brother's shirt.

"I know Pete. I love you too." Peter knew Nathan didn't mean it in the same way though. Would never mean it in the same way.

"Nathan, I need to tell yo-" before Peter could finish, he was cut off by a change in Nathan. Where as before, Nathan was the one supporting the two of them, now the younger brother was holding all them up. "Nathan? Nathan!"

After quite a bit of maneuvering, Peter finally got a look at his brother's face. The congressman's eyes were closed and his face completely relaxed. Peter sighed and wrapped his arms around him tighter. Carefully, the smaller man dragged the other out of the living room and into the bed room. As gently as he could, Peter laid Nathan down on his bed and took a seat on the left of the sleeping man.

Sighing, Peter looked down at the other man. The other man who was his brother. The other man that he was in love with. Who was his BROTHER! It was disgusting; these feelings he was having for his brother; his own flesh and blood! When he thought about two siblings loving each other, Peter couldn't help but feel creeped out. It was wrong after all. But when he thought of being with Nathan, he felt no revulsion, only a warm fuzzy feeling.

"I am not in love with my brother, I'm just confused or tired or something. I love Nathan as nothing more than my brother because that's all he is and will ever be." Peter hoped saying it aloud would help him believe it. It didn't work, the feelings still burned just as fiery and passionate as before. He decided to try again with a slight variation.

"It's wrong. These feelings I have for Nathan, my BROTHER are wrong." It didn't feel wrong though and his words didn't sound convincing, even to him.

Sighing again, Peter looked down at his brother. "Why does it have to be you?" Peter asked quietly, as to not wake the sleeping man. His voice cracked slightly on the last word and he cleared his throat, a bit embarrassed even if no one heard it. "Why?"

He couldn't remember falling in love or anything much at all about their combined past, but this feeling inside him was unmistakable. Had he always felt this way? When did he fall for the worst person possible to fall for? Had Nathan known about his younger brother's corrupted mind before now? Had he realized before Peter? Had he even known that he was in love with Nathan before his accident? These feelings definitely weren't new, but had they come about slowly enough so he hadn't realized he had fallen in love with his own brother?

Over whelmed with the lack information, Peter ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his face, a habit he apparently had whenever he was distressed. He was even more frustrated with everything than he had been back in Ireland, when he had known nothing. The more he found out about his former life; the more confused he was; the more questions he came into view.

Peeking out between his fingers, Peter glanced over at his brother. He inhaled quickly when he looked at his sleeping face. Even with the thick facial hair and unkempt appearance, he was still the most beautiful man the younger had ever seen. The tension in his brow and the rest of his face melted away in relaxation. He looked quite a bit younger with all the stress washed from his face.

Moaning in despair, Peter flopped down next to his sleeping brother. He felt so lost, it was completely unfair. It wasn't his fault he had amnesia after all. Unless it was. Hey, it's not like he could remember how he lost his memories! Peter was suddenly seized with the urge to pound his fist into the bed like a child throwing a tantrum. He refrained however, because that might wake Nathan.

The younger brother looked over at the elder one once again. He gently reached out and touched Nathan's lip with his fingertips. Before he even had the chance to really understand what he was doing, Peter brought his lips to meet Nathan's. He pressed them lightly against his brother's before the gravity of what he had done sunk in and he jerked away.

He stared wide eyed at Nathan. He had just kissed his brother! Well sure, Peter had kissed Nathan earlier that night, and with a lot more passion, but he hadn't known who Nathan was at the time. This time he had kissed him, knowing full well who he was and how they were related.

Rolling over so his back was to Nathan, Peter decided it was far too dangerous to be around Nathan while he was so vulnerable.

Peter was just about to get up and go sleep on the couch (far away from Nathan where he'll be safe) when he felt Nathan stir behind him. Before he had time to move away, he felt an arm circle around his waist. Nathan's grip on him tightened, pulling Peter to him. Nathan sleepily wrapped his right leg around Peter's. Peter, now lying flush against his brother, gasped slightly at the sudden and unexpected contact. He tried to pull away, but Nathan's arm around him only tightened, affectively trapping the younger Petrelli.

_This is going to be a long night_, Peter thought as Nathan nuzzled the back of his neck, sending shivers up his spine.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Sorry for taking forever! I've been really busy and unable to update any of my fanfictions. I'm especially sorry for this one because I kinda gave up on it because I kinda totally forgot the plot. Since I can't remember where this was supposed to go, I'm just going to make it as I go along. If you have any suggestions, I want them!

I was actually thinking of completely giving up on this story, but then Ray191 posted a comment which made me feel really guilty if I did give up. So, I dedicate this to you, Ray! Honestly when I saw your comment, I kinda went something like 'well damn, someone likes my story enough to comment. Looks like I have to write more. Now what the heck was the rest of this supposed to be about again?' Hope you liked it anyway. Sorry for it being filler angsty fluff, I just had no idea what to write and somehow all this came out.

Thank you dawnsmith, digi-smile, Miss Snazzy, spaceman-earthgirl, TenshiXXX, and TruffleHead for adding this to your alerts!

And thank you dawnsmith, digi-smile, and Harmonie-Dream for adding this to your favorites!

I'll update as soon as I can think of what happens next so please comment, subscribe, and favorite! Or not, it's your choice really. But I'd prefer it if you do.


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